5 Ways to Deal With a Spouse’s Anger


If you and your loving partner are having difficulties within the relationship then there is no doubt that fighting and arguing has occurred, and probably on more than several occasions. Sometimes a relationship gets to the point of constant arguing with both members but if your goal is to make things better, then you must learn to be strong if your girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse bursts into anger over a situation.

Below are five ideas to help you to remain strong when your partner loses control with his or her anger. Simply find out which ones will work for you.

1. Be understanding by learning to really listen to your partner’s anger. I know it is not easy to do this when you are being bombarded with a catapult of insults and accusations, because most of us react too quickly with angry accusations of our own. This is especially true when our own hot buttons are pushed and we are faced with harsh words of the past or old issues are brought up. Just try to ignore your own reactive nature by trying to listen more to your partner.

2. Take responsibility for your own behavior by considering how you may have helped trigger your partner’s anger. You may have provoked his or her fury without even being conscience of it. Think about what steps you may be able to take in order to change your behavior from now on.

3. Validate your partner’s angry feelings. Do not dismiss their emotions just because you are not happy with how they are feeling. Of course nobody enjoys it if the other person is feeling angry or frustrated, but telling someone that they shouldn’t feel that way does nothing but fuel more anger. Passing judgment on how someone feels is not an option.

4. Just as parents call time-outs when their children throws a temper tantrum, you should do the same for yourself if a partner loses control. Let them know that you are not going to say one word until you are spoken to in a positive manner. Let your partner know that you do not appreciate being spoken to in such an angry, humiliating, and insulting way.

5. Try to find a way to be able to stop your partner’s anger, like sort of short-circuit. Perhaps you both can agree on a code word that can be said if tempers start to flair up, and when this word is announced then you both know to cool off and leave the situation for a while, until you are ready to calmly talk about the problem.

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